Kaz's tumblings

zincfingers:

Oh no, some people were telling you not to use a homophobic slur to describe straight platonic relationships. HOW DARE THEY

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Because. You know. The relationships I - nonbinary identifying as in between female and neutrois and presenting as/passing as female in RL - have with two women. Both of whom I love very much and where I really, really want to permanently live with at least one of them (both is looking pretty unlikely :( and this would require a transatlantic move in both cases), maybe raise kids with them, maybe marry one of them if legally possible - because of tax/visa/citizenship stuff and because if I’m ever going to marry *anyone* they’re at the top of the list-

Those relationships are totally straight platonic relationships.

Not even going to touch the rest of it, just. JFC.

weesleyisourking:

Most of which are people replying, saying things akin to “No one cares about your micromanaging of your relationships”; “Stop trying to be pretentious or get oppression street creds”; “I have relationships like this, you don’t need a special word for it”; and even, “Wow, the asexuals always have…

I… had no idea this was going on, and this upsets me so. Damn. Much.

Okay. People. You’ve got issues with the word queerplatonic? Shut the FUCK up. I’m not the originator of the word, that’s s.e. smith/meloukhia of this ain’t livin’, but it *was*, AFAIK, first properly introduced to the world on my blog in a conversation ou was having with me… partially because we had both felt the lack of a word for this so keenly.

I spent two. Fucking. Years. Driving myself up the wall over my relationships - in particular, over my ideal relationship *and* over the relationship I had with one of my now-zucchini. Was it romantic or friendship? Was I accidentally dating someone? Did I have a girlfriend? How could you even tell? And what on earth did you do if the question didn’t lead anywhere because neither of the two options really fit? I agonised over this, and I honestly don’t think someone who has been there, facing not just “this relationship I have, I have no fucking clue how to categorise it, I don’t think the categories I’ve been given work” but “actually, the categories I’ve been given don’t work for my relationships at all, neither in terms of the ones I have but also the ones I want.” All around me were people iding as hetero/homo/biromantic or aromantic and I was sitting there going “…homoromantic? aromantic? in between? NOTHING WORKS NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE”, do you have any idea what that feels like?

Queerplatonic? Zucchini? I may not have invented those words, but they’re my words all the same. They are, in a a way, some of the most important words I have. More than asexual. More than nonbinary. And if you don’t feel the need for them, then don’t you fucking touch them.