Just so you all know? This one is going to be depressing.
IIRC, my mother said I shouldn’t limit myself by assuming nothing would happen in the future.
My flatmate asked me if I was sure I wasn’t a lesbian. In fact, multiple people asked this - I remember at one point complaining on AVEN about how *everyone* I had tried to come out to had asked this question and I was starting to feel insulted that they all thought I was so homophobic that a) I’d repress my sexuality to the point where I was coming out as asexual instead and b) they had to ask this question in a hushed voice going “I’m really sorry but have you ever considered…” as if I’d bite their heads off for suggesting it.
My brother went for bingo and suggested that… I was afraid of men (upon my asking him why he was assuming I *wasn’t* a lesbian he said me being straight was statistically most likely), our parents hadn’t hugged us enough as children, I couldn’t be asexual because he remembers that I once touched my genitals as a four-year-old, I couldn’t be asexual because I was saying I hated the idea of sex which meant there was something wrong with me/I was repressing because if I were *really* asexual I wouldn’t care about sex one way or another, aaaand some other stuff which I don’t really care to remember. That was one remarkably unpleasant conversation, and I still have evil half-formed plans of him visiting me and me dragging him to an LGBT society event without warning in vengeance.
Also in the “total WTF” category, my officemate when I came out to her was totally accepting! And mentioned that when she’d been in undergrad her LGBT soc had had a lot of asexual people in it!
There are two issues with that statement:
One, even now I expect LGBT societies with “a lot” of asexual people are few and far between.
Two, I’m several years into my PhD and she’s older than me by a few years because she did some other stuff in between undergrad and uni. I asked to clarify, and she both said that yes, she was sure she knew a lot of asexual people in undergrad, and the time period she was thinking about was late nineties/early 2000s. That is, pre-AVEN.
…which brings me to a question for the tumblr ace folk-
has *anyone ever* heard of some sort of amazing offline asexual community at a UK uni during this time period, or any offline asexual community at all during this time period, or in fact has ANY IDEA WHATSOEVER how to explain this statement?