March 2012
10 posts
7 tags
A question about vocabulary
Because lately, I have seen people using words in the ace tags that are new to me, and also using words I know in ways that make no sense with the meanings I associate with them. Needless to say, this makes constructive dialogue a bit tricky.
Here I work through my thoughts and personal definitions for some apparently contentious vocabulary. I’d like it if people could tell me where their...
Attempted Danger: A Minority within a Minority? →
outlawroad:
I posted not that long ago about being a celibate/sex-aversive asexual, but lately, I’ve been reading a lot of posts online by asexuals which seem to be hammering home the fact that asexuals can and do have sex and sometimes enjoy it or feel enthusiastic about it otherwise…. And again, it’s making…
Ironically, I just complained to my friends on DW about this very thing....
TL;DR: So a question for people with platonic... →
writingfromfactorx:
physistorian:
Or zucchinis or whatever you like to call them:
How exactly did you get together? Because I can’t for the life of me figure out how to platonically ask someone out.
Really awkward conversations about the state of the friendship? Involving, in one case, increasingly less…
I wish all of tumblr (well, not the trolls) to know that that awkward...
I can't find who posted it,
metapianycist:
but so far my favorite response to my informal “What is your favorite response to give to ‘How do you know you’re asexual if you haven’t had sex?’ ” poll is
“How do you know you wouldn’t like eating live scorpions if you’ve never tried it?”
dying. DYING.
"You don't need this junk. You need a cat.":... →
youneedacat:
I think I still retain one of the skills I used the most often to handle language growing up. My language comprehension, as opposed to (superficial) expression, ranged from “meh” to nonexistent. And so did the ties between my superficial level of expression, and what I was actually thinking. I…
Oh, wow. I identify with a surprising amount of this, considering...
@pmzzo
asexuality-exists:
I agree with you however some people doesn’t like it when they say they’re asexual and people just assume they’d never have sex, it bothers them. they wanna make it clear that it doesn’t necessarily mean that they would never have sex. whereas I have the same problem, I wanna make it clear that I don’t wanna have sex, ever. so yes, line is unclear for some but for some of us...
Hey, everyone!
raumlet:
Just block unicornenimas. Really, your life will be much, much better.
At least the block button seems to be working properly again. I have never been so happy not to see something.
Beautifully Complex: This past week I have met two... →
miaim:
I don’t really ever use this anymore as a “blogging” outlet, but this past week and a half has taught me a lot of stuff about stuttering and myself that I really need to just iron out in a rambling blog post.
I have met two stutterers in the past week who have graciously come into my therapy…
You can make that three, if you want - I stutter, and it doesn’t bother me. Or...
hm.
mostlydeplorable:
Sometimes I think to myself “you can’t possibly be asexual. Only one percent of the population, as the very popular statistic says, is asexual. So the odds of you being one is crazy slim.” But then I think, “well nothing else makes sense and it seems to be like teenagers thinking they’re immortal and couldn’t possibly get hurt hurtling down a hillside road sitting on a...
youneedacat:
“But anyway, we have seen a few discussions going around lately about how non-autistic professionals tend to say autism is about impaired socialization, “theory of mind,” stereotyped repetitive behaviors, etc. While autistic people say that it’s about profound differences in cognition, perception, and communication. (And often the autistic people disagreeing with the professionals...
February 2012
16 posts
Unpopular Opinion:
lizziegoneastray:
I think cumberbuttmunch is hilarious, and also totally has a point about Benedict Cumberbatch’s chin(s)…
Yeah, it’s - why do they have to clutter up the ace tags? I don’t find it funny, the userpic makes me cringe, and I don’t want to stumble across them when I want to read ace stuff. I originally blocked them and went on with my life, but for some reason...
Neutrois Nonsense: Male as "neutral" →
neutrois:
In reply to this post, Kaz said something very interesting:
I also often feel as if male is seen as a “neutral” gender - e.g. that a neutrois person who wants to be seen as a guy and prefers “he” over “she” is normal, but one who’d rather be seen as female/prefers “she” gets viewed as not…
I’m glad you thought that was interesting enough to discuss! :)
Honestly,...
THE FULL METAL BITCH: Dear Aspies Who Want To Keep... →
thefullmetalbitch:
I cannot stand your position on this, and I’m going to lay it out by rebutting the often-heard arguments, and then by stating what I believe this will do for the autistic communities.
1. But it’s not as accurate.
-The current categories of autism are artificial; they were not allowed to…
This, very much. Getting diagnosed for AS made me realise how very political...
Legit questions, do not spam the fuck out of me...
sun-sica:
Okay, so when I go into the asexual tag, I often see long posts where an asexual will explain that they don’t desire sex, but if they love so-and-so, they will compromise and have sex with them. I also see posts where people express extreme revulsion at anything involving sex. So here are my questions. The last one is less specific than the others. I’d appreciate people responding with...
allies-person:
deaf-aspie:
Being overwhelmed by your environment does not make you a baby. Having a food aversion does not make you a baby. Having a public “meltdown,” however, suggests a lack of mature coping skills and room for learning. Continuing to “instantly throw up” when exposed to a long list of common foods instead of taking on the project of desensitization suggests an attitude of...
sophia-sol:
Just to reiterate: you can be sex-aversive AND sex-positive. Really. lucyzephyr:
sophia-sol:
lizziegoneastray:
Why is this? Because sex-positivity is not intended to be about personally wanting to have sex; it’s about supporting the right of all people of all genders to have as much or as little sex as they want without being judged by arbitrary standards of “purity” or...
Perpetually Myself: What is ableist discourse... →
allies-person:
The Feministe Comments policy contains this clause:
We will do what is possible to prevent publishing comments that are racist, sexist, ableist, homophobic, or transphobic. (Italics in original)
I’m hardly the first to point out that this often does not happen. (Moreover, sometimes the…
I saw how the comments started and then bailed. I am sadly unsurprised they just...
Asexual People of Color: Welcome, y'all! →
asexualpocsunite:
Hi there! I’m your main mod fivelettered here. Thanks for following us!
I made this tumblr after I decided to fully embrace the idea of being a grey-a/demisexual (something I’ve thought I was for a year or so) and going on AVEN. When I finished making my account, I realized that most of these…
Signal boosting because omg awesome.
9 tags
Realisation of the day:
I do not have the slightest idea what a “whimper” actually sounds like.
Thought accompanying: being an autistic writer is really weird in many ways.
The thing is, I not only learned to write by reading tons but also learned a lot of my vocabulary from books (combination of being a bookworm as a kid and not being a native English speaker/never speaking English at home even when we...
Asexuality Archive →
neutrois:
AMAZING.
FINALLY I can link people to something other than the AVEN wiki.
spiralfish:
“The distinction between sexual and asexual people is that, if asexuals think about other people during masturbation (many asexuals don’t think about anything specifically sexual) it is only as fantasy. If they actually were given the opportunity to be sexual with that person there would be no attraction, or the drive would be so low as to be completely ignorable.” — AVEN {the...
youneedacat:
“If you do not find work in one of your areas of obsession, you will probably be distracted, bored, depressed; you may even find you become physically sick. ” — Rudy Simone, Aspergirls
That’s never been me. The longest I ever worked was doing stuff, paid minimum wage, at the residential facility I was in as a teen. It involved painting walls and fences, shoveling large...
When people say the AVEN triangle is really not...
hope-for-a-better-asexual-future:
…then could someone explain this?
[Image: AVEN triangle with text description underneath: “The AVEN triangle representing asexuality, based on the gay pride pink triangle.”]
Like is it a mistake? Does it need to be edited? Or do we just need to accept that some Aces back in the day take some inspiration from the gay pride triangle ? :unsure:
...
Possibly a douchefuck: Can we all take a minute to... →
possiblyadouchefuck:
Allosexual being the opposite of autosexual; thus allosexual being “one who is sexually attracted to people other than/as well as oneself”. (Autosexual being “one who is sexually attracted to onesself”, which in most contexts means “someone who has the desire to masturbate but does not have any…
I knew there was something that bothered me about the term...
Obsession is a dangerous thing: Small PSA on the... →
rimbaum:
Sex aversion is a thing that exists.
You can be a sex aversive asexual or a sex aversive sexual. It doesn’t matter. If you think that the act of sex is nasty, gross, panic inducing, painful, or whatever - and would be happier if you never got involved in a sexual relationship with anyone, ever -…
So is “sex-aversive” the term that’s taken the place of...
Just to reiterate: you can be sex-aversive AND...
lizziegoneastray:
Why is this? Because sex-positivity is not intended to be about personally wanting to have sex; it’s about supporting the right of all people of all genders to have as much or as little sex as they want without being judged by arbitrary standards of “purity” or “experience.” It’s about believing that other people’s bodies, and the ways in which they do or do not choose to...
August 2011
28 posts
2 tags
Ace Admiral: Answering some questions! →
captainheartless:
introvertactivism:
WHAT DOES INTROVERSION HAVE TO DO WITH ASEXUALS?
Most of us are introverts! Our tendency towards introversion can often be related to our desire to not establish sexual relationships with random people or pursue casual hookups. They’re definitely interconnected and I’m…
I would definitely be cautious about saying “most asexuals are introverts”. All the...
5 tags
I don't even understand aceslutshamers.
pond-put-some-trousers-on:
What is going on?
Everything on that blog is really convoluted.
A troll? A real person? With real opinions?
So confused.
SO.
CONFUSED.
I have no idea, and honestly enough I don’t want to know - I just blocked them straight off because there is shit I do not need to see.
2 tags
There are just so many things.
aceadmiral:
I’ve been trying to make this argument that repulsed =/= bad on the basis that repulsed, in fact, =/= bad, and that most people have things that turn them on as well as kinks they don’t understand, and boundaries about what they feel comfortable doing with and having done to their bodies. But, more specifically?
For repulsed asexuals (not demis or grey-aces, sorry), you are talking...
aceadmiral:
Hahaha it just asked me if I wanted to report the person I just blocked for harassment.
Yeah. Yeah I do. But I won’t because I can’t trust the people looking at it won’t just say “what is this special snowflake unicorn girl whining about?”
This exact same thing happened to me yesterday. Just.
*HUGS*
2 tags
Another note on being repulsed
writingfromfactorx:
aceadmiral:
There are lots of things in this world I do not like, to varying levels. Asparagus. People who don’t use their turn signals. Spiders. Toothpaste of any flavor other than green. And many, many more. Nobody’s suggesting I go to a therapist checked over my burning hatred of tomatoes. Why should sex be any different?
Especially because, no one takes issue when I...
8 tags
Our language, tiger: Wow, the "queerplatonic" post... →
zincfingers:
Oh no, some people were telling you not to use a homophobic slur to describe straight platonic relationships. HOW DARE THEY
…
…
Because. You know. The relationships I - nonbinary identifying as in between female and neutrois and presenting as/passing as female in RL - have with two women. Both of whom I love very much and where I really, really want to...
9 tags
as came up via chatting with Sciatrix
Who on earth came up with the “hey, want to go out for a drink sometime?” = “I am expressing romantic and/or sexual interest! I am expecting you to pick up on this, and if you agree this will be tacitly assumed to be an expression of reciprocated interest!” code anyway?
Definitely not autistic people, anyway.
*remembering a certain incident where ze may have...
8 tags
Our language, tiger: Wow, the "queerplatonic" post... →
weesleyisourking:
Most of which are people replying, saying things akin to “No one cares about your micromanaging of your relationships”; “Stop trying to be pretentious or get oppression street creds”; “I have relationships like this, you don’t need a special word for it”; and even, “Wow, the asexuals always have…
I… had no idea this was going on, and this upsets me so. Damn....
3 tags
Why?!
surealfantasy:
Why ?
I mean the roots are -1 and -1/2
Why is not ? :C
It’s freaking me out Dx
Because the x^2 term is multiplied by 2. If you multiply out (x+1)(x+1/2) you get x^2+3/2x+1/2 - that is, exactly half what you’re trying to get. Multiplying a constant doesn’t change the roots.
(saw this randomly in the #mathematics tag, hope you don’t mind me poking my head...
12 tags
a large, fruit-eating bat.: no →
thisisntfarmlife:
hupsoonheng:
megachiropteran:
waiflike:
eateroftrees:
Sex Positivity is Rape Culture in Disguise
[Trigger Warning: Rape, Rape Culture discussed at link]
Or, in which I attempt to alienate all my followers.
Mostly it discusses ways in which rape culture and sex positivity…
I *did* read the post, in its entirety, and I am acknowledging it by trying to clear the...
Sex Positivity is Rape Culture in Disguise →
eateroftrees:
[Trigger Warning: Rape, Rape Culture discussed at link]
Or, in which I attempt to alienate all my followers.
Mostly it discusses ways in which rape culture and sex positivity intersect, especially for people who are less sexual then is normative, such as asexual people, gray-asexual people, people with sex related triggers, people with autism who get completely overwhelmed by...
4 tags
Next Step: Cake: THREE new papers on Asexuality →
nextstepcake:
So, the most recent issue of the journal “sexualities” had not one, but three new “themed essays on asexuality”. Out of nine articles total. Not bad for us one-percenters. I for one am excited :D 1) There’s more to life than sex? Difference and commonality within the asexual community - Mark…
Oh maaan I hope my uni has access to those because I really want to read them....
2 tags
Sketches and Thoughts: I am uncomfortable with the... →
sir-kit:
Yes, it was a decent answer. Yes, it was surprising and kind of nice to see something reasonable on the subject coming from that source.
He gave a decent-human-being response to that one. Not going to deny it.
But the couple of times I’ve heard the word “praise” mentioned in the posts about…
It’s worth nothing that he hasn’t appeared to change his opinions on...
This is what I'm actually angry about:
hernameishelen:
kazaera:
hernameishelen:
aceadmiral:
There is a lot of policing of asexual identities, both inside and outside the community. It you masturbate, if you like sex, if you have sex, if you don’t hate sex, if you were ever sexually abused, if you have a mental illness, if you’re autistic, if you’re disabled, if you’re a woman, if you’re a man, if you’re non-binary, if you’re...
This is what I'm actually angry about:
hernameishelen:
aceadmiral:
There is a lot of policing of asexual identities, both inside and outside the community. It you masturbate, if you like sex, if you have sex, if you don’t hate sex, if you were ever sexually abused, if you have a mental illness, if you’re autistic, if you’re disabled, if you’re a woman, if you’re a man, if you’re non-binary, if you’re trans*, if you use sexual...
This is what I'm actually angry about:
aceadmiral:
There is a lot of policing of asexual identities, both inside and outside the community. It you masturbate, if you like sex, if you have sex, if you don’t hate sex, if you were ever sexually abused, if you have a mental illness, if you’re autistic, if you’re disabled, if you’re a woman, if you’re a man, if you’re non-binary, if you’re trans*, if you use sexual language, if you make...
5 tags
jazz queen: "I don't understand aces." →
jazzqueen:
I think it’s completely understandable that some people just don’t grasp asexuality.
I certainly do not understand most other sexualities. I don’t understand hypersexual people and my best friend is one. I will never understand the instinct some people have that makes them want to jump down every…
(Note: I haven’t seen what spurred this post so I’m responding to...
10 tags
that stuttering thing
Was thinking about this more because I went on holiday and my fluency took a nosedive; I ended up back in that “cannot actually pass for fluent for longer than ten seconds in a conversation with a stranger” stage I spent most of my time in up until three years ago and haven’t been in since. Going back to that has been odd, comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time, and it...
more non-binary support network stuff →
lakalenyu:
kazaera:
lakalenyu:
youarenotyou reblogged this from lakalenyu and added:
I don’t know either but I’d like this to exist too.
I’ve been thinking about where to host such a group and I keep coming back to Dreamwidth, for their diversity policy. It seems like that’d be a place where if the trolls descended, the staff would actually do something about it.
I just worry that the...
more non-binary support network stuff →
lakalenyu:
youarenotyou reblogged this from lakalenyu and added:
I don’t know either but I’d like this to exist too.
I’ve been thinking about where to host such a group and I keep coming back to Dreamwidth, for their diversity policy. It seems like that’d be a place where if the trolls descended, the staff would actually do something about it.
I just worry that the code-based sign-up might...
it means loud: non-binary support group? →
lakalenyu:
googling around doesn’t produce anything, just some folks talking around starting ones in specific areas. i was thinking maybe a main forum or website for talking about stuff and then ppl in the same areas could arrange in-person groups if they wanted? i just feel like there needs to be a…
I’d so like this; I’ve been anxious and wanting to work through stuff and...
Like this if you stutter. I just want to see how...
karamazov-alexei:
kazaera:
I’ve been looking through the #stuttering tag… man, I wish our speech disorder were called something else, because people use the word “stuttering” for all sorts of stuff that’s not our-stuttering and as a result the tag is just filled with people talking about songs or their dating woes or whatever,. Same problem on most websites; makes it hard to find each other.
...
Like this if you stutter. I just want to see how...
I’ve been looking through the #stuttering tag… man, I wish our speech disorder were called something else, because people use the word “stuttering” for all sorts of stuff that’s not our-stuttering and as a result the tag is just filled with people talking about songs or their dating woes or whatever,. Same problem on most websites; makes it hard to find each other.
Ace Admiral: Re: That incredibly inappropriate... →
aceadmiral:
That was an incredibly inappropriate comment. Not only did it make no logical sense, it was also offensive as anything. I’m glad I’ve seen people on my dash calling out the OP. But for the people who are under the impression this comment represents all asexuals despite everyone under the sun…
Tons of people called them out. Just. Tons. Even with the amount of trolls...
